On Probation

Hey Everybody.

I realize I have not posted anything in a really really long time. And I realize that the last thing that I did post on here wasn't even of my own writing. I don't know what's wrong with me... honestly.

Today, well now it was yesterday since it is 1:00 a.m., was my birthday and Katherine's as well for all of you who didn't know that we share the same birthday. Happy Birthday to you Katherine.

This birthday, as I turned eighteen and entered adulthood was no different then any other day of my life, besides the fact that it has been the best so far and will be followed up by a great weekend with my friends, and then dinner with my Daddy on Father's Day.

What I mean though, about it being no different than any other day was that I felt no different. There was no great wisdom that suddenly hit me, no feeling that finally I had grown into the shoes that would "one day fit". Today was that day, and I missed it by a mile. I'm no more grown than the day I was two. I'm no more mature then the day I turned six. I still laugh at juvenile things, get a kick out of other peoples pain. I still get the urge to play in the mud, and drive around endlessly, even if it is a waste of gas.

I had the pleasure today of spending the majority of the day with my sister Danielle at the mall shopping for clothes. (Yes, I bought clothes out the WAZOO!) ((I have no idea how to spell wazoo)) Anywho, today while I was with my sister, it suddenly dawned on me exactly how much alike we are. Granted, I realized before that we had some meaningful connection that you couldn't mistake for anything other than a genetic bond, but I have never noticed how much of one person we are. We like the same things, we do the same things, we say the same things, we say the same things the same way. We laugh the same, we have the same sense of humor, we both crave bad things to eat like Taco Bell, we have the same mannerisms, we have the same manners. If we were to run over an animal (or hit a flying one) I know that our reaction would be the same. To scream bloody murder, then curse the animal, then cry because of the possible lose of life. Our boyfriends even smell the same.

While noticing exactly how much like my sister I was today, I also realized something very special and dear to me. I love her. With all my heart I love my sister. I would like nothing more than to follow her footsteps and become the same exact person that she is. To some, my sister may come off as bossy and mean. She's come off that way to me a good majority of my life. But she's not. She's strong, controlled, smart, incredibly funny. She's beautiful in every way imaginable, especially the way she looks like a chinese person when she smiles. Her laugh will silence a room, and her giggles can be heard a mile a way. It is an honor to call her my sister, especially when good sisters are hard to find. She will never be replaced and I want her to know how special she is to me and where she stands in my life.

Danielle, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. You have constantly been there for me, especially when you didn't want to be. (And don't tell me you didn't have any choice.) I look up to you, I've followed you since the day I was born, and have respected you since the day I stole your toys, no nevermind it was the day you hit me over the head with my plastic guitar. Know that I will support you in anything you do, and I appreciate you every second of the day. I am your "Bama Baby'' always and forever.



That wasn't much of a post to all my other reader's but hopefully on the way up to the lake I can get some writing in and finally find some good inspiration. See you all when I return!!


Goodnight.