I’m sorry
I thought you were asleep
hard to do I realize
with that one eye open
you never sleep do you?
(not anymore)
but I guess that isn’t any help
I’ve been laying here for two hours
and you’ve heard nothing
my screams silenced by the blood in my throat
everything’s so vile
who is holding the knife now?
it can’t be you
even though our moon’s the same
our shingles are so very different
that doesn’t really matter though
just ask Caesar
you don’t have to be holding the knife to have blood on your hands
been using the sink lately?
I barely had my foot through the door
before your signature was down
but that’s not supposed to be like that?
“blood is thicker than anything”
obviously not
not thicker than that paper
or the lead that bleeds through it
a vision so sweet
of valleys
meadows
a giant figure clad in golden
a stream where the thirsty go
and deep sleep inevitably follows
where the woods smell green
and darkness never comes
where clouds carry you away
and danger ceases to exist
only the hot warm breath
of safety
and love
ripped away
stolen
gorged
every last drop
burned
so hot the fire’s green
and why?
indecision and folly
multiple roles I know
but I was never to blame
and I refuse to ever believe that
you won’t find me in that pool
my name cannot be called
(do you even know what it is anymore? I know I have so many)
I WON’T BE YOUR REASON
red and green rings
but which leads where?
notice how gold was never your color
even your skin rejected it
callusing and forming warts
never could rid yourself of that disease
but no
not in this world
the punishment never fits the crime
because of grace
and innocence is bliss
until my mouth is blue from the juice of that damned apple
(I didn’t want to know)
you opened that gate
you let me in
but you knew what I would do
she was sick
and I love her
from a bond you created
there was only one type of fruit that you knew would cure her
but I can’t get to that tree
only you can pick that fruit
so instead you tease me with it
knowing what it could be like
knowing how it would taste
to finally feel the effect of morphine
and know that it’s ok
two more hours have passed
and still you stare at me
with only the one eye
and a vampire reflection in the mirror
where did you go?
if you can't look inside
where do you turn?
your hands are still bloody
the sheets are stained in it and you can never take that back
blood never washes out
because blood IS thicker than water
and I can never be washed clean of this
you can never be washed clean of this
the blood in my throat
nothing more than bile in my stomach
food to my soul
the exit wound of your hate
is my own mouth
my warts match your own
my temper short
the wave of my hair
the freckles on my nose
and the very color of my eyes…
the vision of you is what she hates
the vision of you is what makes her sick
the vision of you is what makes her cry
and the vision of you…
(everyone always said I look like you)
