I Slept With A DVD Player Because My Heart Is Two Sizes Too Small

Pick the month you were born:

January- I crapped
February- I slapped
March- I murdered
April- I looked at
May- I masturbated with
June- I slept with
July- I laughed at
August- I stabbed
September- I shot
October- I made love to
November- I wrestled
December- I had sex with

Now pick the day of your birth
1. A prostitute
2. An Asian
3. A Woman with HIV
4. A drunken black man
5. Santa Clause
6. A playboy bunny
7. A married mom
8. My stuffed bunny
9. Your mom
10. The Easter Bunny
11. A football player
12. A porn star
13. My lettermans Jacket
14. My teacher
15. The Rock
16. A DVD player
17. A pencil sharpener
18. The phone
19. My computer
20. Your house
21. The tape measurer
22. The Lamp
23. The pope
24. Governor Swartenegar
25. Mr. Incredible
26. A transvestite
27. The Devil
28. Your hot sister
29. George Bush
30. A tape recorder
31. The printer

Now the THIRD letter of your LAST name
A- Because I like chocolate
B- Because I was bored
C- Because my pants were on too tight
D- Because I am a homosexual
E- Because my heart is two sizes too small
F- Because I didnt get any presents for Christmas
G- Because I like eggs
H- Because the world will end tomorrow
I- Because I slit my wrists
J- Because I dont have a bf/gf
K- Because I like football
L- Because I was high
M- Because I was drunk
N- Because my mom told me to
O- Because fruit cakes fly
P- Because Im lonely
Q- Because my parents fight a lot
R- Because Im horny
S- Because I want to commit suicide
T- Because I hate school
U- Because I was drunk
V- Because I love slumber parties
W- Because it calms me
X- Because I like brownies
Y- Because I like to spoon
Z- Because I need to masturbate

CHRISTMAS!!

Hey Everybody.

Yes. It's finally here. It's Christmas time. I know you are all probably thinking, wait, it's been Christmas time for a long time now. I know that supposedly the day after Thanksgiving is when "christmas" typically begins, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Christmas. The realization that hits you hopefully every season when you're surrounded by love and family when you figure out what it really is supposed to be about. Not about politically correct holiday slogans, or food, or presents, but the birth of Christ.

A little while ago while eating lunch, Wayne and I were discussing Christmas songs. While having the discussion there was a common belief that no one has ever really gotten Mary right when they were talking about how she felt about that night, or the whole situation. Mary Did You Know comes close...but still not quite all the way. Really, have you thought about it? Holding the Son of God in your hands, knowing just how vulnerable he was? Knowing just how powerful he was? Knowing who he was going to become? And then, wondering how you were supposed to raise him? I know personally I would feel completely inferior to the task. But that's why He chose Mary. He chose her to bear His Son, the Saviour of the world. A baby. A tiny, tiny, tiny, powerful baby. So this week, when you're celebrating christmas and shopping and buying presents for everyone you love and cherish keep the image of Christ the babe in mind. Sleeping in a manger; born for tasks so great, and yet a child with childlike innocence. Merry Christmas everyone.

God Bless

Slient Night by Josef Mohr

Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child.
Holy Infant, so tender and mild,

Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night, holy night,
Shepherds quake at the sight,
Glories stream from heaven afar,
Heavenly hosts sing alleluia;

Christ, the Savior, is born!
Christ, the Savior, is born!

Silent night, holy night,
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face,
With the dawn of redeeming grace,

Jesus, Lord at thy birth.
Jesus, Lord at thy birth.

I Hate Finals....But Christmas Is Lovely

Hey Everyone...

Yeah, as you guessed I'm in the process of studying for finals up herre at Alabama. Not a fun process. However I can say, that Providence has finally seemed to serve it's purpose in claiming that forcing us to take all our exams in highschool would prepare us for college exams....it's true. Because of that, I already have all my studying techniques for hugh ginormous test down pact, so really studying is a cinch. It's just, no one likes to do it. So what do you do? Well, if you're me...

1. Watch "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" instead of studying.

2. Take repeated trips to the kitchen to get food, and come back with nothing.

3. Go into Nichole's room and bug the crap out of her until she kicks you out of her room.

4. Go out to eat off-campus a lot (this is a great time waster).

5. Go to church, and then IHOP (not the church part).

6. Get into a slap/frog/punch fight with Nichole for apparently no reason, except to relieve stress (this one hurts I wouldn't recommend it, especially since she kicks when you frighten her).

7. Look at all the possible movie previews out right now, and see which movies you're going to want to see once this gets over with.

8. Make a photo album with embarrassing pictures of your roommates and post it on Facebook.

9. Watch re-runs of Making the Band 3 (part 2), that you've already seen the re-runs of...twice.

10. Drink Cream Soda and watch your roommates spin themselves to death.

11. Listen to Christmas music...

12. Talk to your mom and roommates on Instant Messenger.

13. Play with your Zippo (you know I love fire).

14. Post on your blog.

So yeah. Pretty bored, sick of studying, and ready to come home for christmas and be surrounded by friends I haven't seen in a while and family who I always miss. I'll be seeing you all soon, if I can just make it through this last exam.

Goodluck for those who have them.

Here's To My Favorite Nextdoor Neighbor...

I just want you to know...



I Love You...


Here's Everything I've Always Meant To Say...

Just be in love and I’ll kiss you like you’ve always wanted
Just close your eyes, I’ll still live as if I’m dying

If I don’t make your heart skip a beat then hate me
If I don’t make you feel anything than it’s me


I just want you to feel beautiful
For once in your life
I just want you to feel beautiful
For once in your life

Just close your eyes and I’ll kiss you like there’s no tomorrow

If I don’t make your heart skip a beat then hate me
If I don’t make you feel anything then it’s me

I just want you to feel beautiful
For once in your life
I just want you to feel beautiful
For once in your life

So sleep now, so deep in static
Drifting in the shadows
Hold me close to the fourwall headlights
And TV screens

I just want you to feel beautiful
For once in your life


I love you Nichole...

You're My Favorite

The Night All My Hopes Came True...

Thank you baby for making that night the best night of my life, even up until now. Because of that night, I have one of the most special people I have ever met who is the biggest part of my life. I love you very, very much. You're still my favorite, and I will always love you.

In The Still of the Night

In the still of the night
I held you, held you tight
'Cause I love, love you so
Promise I'll never let you go
In the still of the night
In the still of the night

I remember (I remember) that night in May
The stars (the stars) were bright above
I'll hope and I'll pray
To keep your precious love

Well before the light
Hold me again
With all of your might
In the still of the night
In the still of the night

So before the light
Hold me again with all of your might
In the still of the night
In the still of the night
In the still of the night

It's been 7 months since that night in May... and I'm breathing fine now.