None

I haven't written anything here in a really long time. I guess one could say that my muse left me. Or another could say that I just simply don't have anything to talk about anymore. But, in pure spite of my muse, I am going to try. Cold turkey. Something new. Something fresh. Right here. Right now. In the wake of Harley's nightmare she's having on the floor next to me, I will usher into a world of unknown meaning, searching for clairty. Searching for a look, an insight into the old me. The poetic me. The me who had opinions and feelings, the me who didn't just let any good idea come and go. Pass right over me, like the angel of death. The blood must come down off my door. I don't want to be saved anymore. I want to feel again, whatever pain, whatever joy. I want to feel. I want to write what I feel. I want to be expressive again, not a empty bottle full of ugly air. Ugly, unhealthy, unpure, transparent air. So without further ado...my improv masterpiece.

(Thanks to Mallory for the idea)


Circles circles circles
Round and round
Hit the ground
Or fall endlessly until the nervous tic wakes you from your nightmare.

Nightmarish.
Life?
Or simply the circles we find. We lose. We find.
No, life.
In the city I call home. I don't even live there anymore.
With the exception of holidays, weekends, birthdays, baby showers...
whatnot.
The sheets are usually clean, the fridge is usually full.
I am always loathe to leave.

While I sleep I see it.
I walk...
Circles, circles.
I walk quickly, quietly.
There is no noise. Not even the sound of my feet beneath me.
But I move quickly.
I am full of nervous glances, over my shoulder.
To the this side
To the other side
Constantly moving
My vision is never settling.
My feet never stop moving
Silently.
I look down at the wrist with no watch.
I am running out of time.
How do I know that?
(I don't know how I know that.)
And the eerie feeling is upon me again.
...I have felt this way before.
Something familiar in it.
So I keep moving.
Quicker now, if that seems possible.
Usually it isn't.
What was that noise?
What was that behind me?
Nothing, there is nothing there.
Streets that are empty.
A dead wind blowing, that is dank and smells familiar.
I have been here before.
Stop.

It's almost upon me now.
A shortcut comes and I take it
Against my better judgement I take it.
I find myself in the middle of a graveyard.
Hurry...
Hurry.
Brianna. Hurry.
I don't know why I hurry.
I'm still checking.
It's compulsive and I cannot grasp it.
Where is everyone?

Walking now. Faster...Faster...
Hurry... wait.
Times up.

Your too late.

It's upon me, and I know its coming.
I try to close my eyes, but theres no use when they're already closed.
I can't squint away the nothing.
It swirls around me in a panoramic view...chaotic.
It never stops. Then the noise...
Loud. Loud. Loud.
A screeching.
A howling.
Laughing.
Menacing.
Teeth grating.
Finger nails breaking,
Teeth chipping.
Bones cracking.
Visions plow through my head, making way for the harvest.
Flashing
Constant...
The noise it never stops.

I am able to run now, and I do.
Everywhere I look they come.
They rise up out of the grave.
They look at me as if they know.
I cannot fathom what they want.
I turn right and he's staring at me.
I try to run forward and she's blocking my step.
I trip over backward and realize the log is unimpressed,
pointing, laughing...
criminals.
I run.
I scream.
Brianna. RUN.

Tears blind my vision, but not enough to block them out.
Screeching, hissing, screaming, yelling.
They won't stop. They can't stop.
I don't know how to make them.
I don't know what they want.

I wake up.
Sweaty. More dead than alive,
I can't control my breathing and I wonder if this was what it wanted.
I am afriad.

This always happens. I cannot control it.
I cannot make the circles stop.
I cannot tell where the street starts, and where the ditch ends.
Where does the East divide from the West.
What seperates me from them?
I am afraid.

Slowly, I crouch down to the floor.
The ridge I used to rub, still soothes me.
Still breathes. Still warm.
It is still there.
But I cannot go back to sleep,
I know what beckons.
Their hiss is in the vents,
their screams in the train outside.

They never leave me.
They're always waiting.
For one day when,

I will run out of time.

Shrift

Rocking...

I wait.
To keep from drifting I cling to this book.
Are you ready to hear this?
I've been sitting like this for far too long.
(I can't feel anymore.)
I've lost all five of my best friends
And not because of overuse.
(I'm afraid of that.)
But un-exposure
the Elements stole them
And when they pleaded with me I turned my back
I couldn't see their tears
I couldn't hear their last efforts
Their odor went unnoticed
Their grasp wasn't strong enough to leave an impression.

I couldn't taste their blood in my mouth.

Will you save me now?
Look what I've done.
Murder.

I don't want to hear it anymore.
The moaning of my own will
It's weak and I hate it.
I hate it.
So what do I do?
I turn up the screaming
Pour a few more
And finally my will is dead.
Exactly where I wanted to be.

So this is it.
Make me care again.
I dare you.
But it's like everytime I open up to you
...I don't know.

I don't understand why you sent Him.
Who did you think would care?
Don't get it wrong.
People care.
Just the wrong ones.
Posers and rapists.
...then again look whose talking.

So much death
Is this what you wanted?
In this world where a virgin doesn't mean pure anymore?
And family doesn't mean for keeps?

The music just got louder.

The inebriation is coming to me now
And it feels...

It doesn't.


Where are you?

Six Flags Is PHAT!

Wayne's taking me to Six Flags today for our 1 year anni. I can't wait. I love Six Flags, and I love him. They're like for real the greatest combo ever...

Well except for Doug and Porkchop.

Peace!

I feel Sikc

Blugh.

I'm in Love with a Gansta...

Hi.

Reasons I'm going to hate this week:

-I've almost ripped off my arrow keys like 4 times with my wrist.
-It's 2:00 in the morning and I'm still doing homework.
-I have 4 tests.
-I have 2 papers due relatively soon.
-I have to read 120+ pages in my English book.
-I have to go to Biology.
-I miss my family.
-Today, or yesterday, was Danielle's birthday and the first when we haven't been together on it.
- I have to work Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
-My history test was originally scheduled for Tuesday got rescheduled for Thursday.
-I had already turned in my schedule request.
- I"m worn out from driving this past weekend.
-Time change sucks.
-My nano puppy is demanding.
-I need to clean my room and don't have time.
-I have to go to a symphony Saturday for my music class.

Reasons why I shouldn't hate this week:

-I have Friday off because of Honors Week.
-I love my boyfriend who serves as the best distraction ever.
-He burned my Valentine's Day playlist for me.
-He bought me cookies.
-Wayne is working Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
-Waynes taking me to Birmingham on Saturday to shop.
-Waynes going with me to the symphony on Saturday.
-Waynes and mine 11 month anniversary is on Thursday.

I love him. Oodles.

Peace out to all my home-dogs, if anyone ever reads this blog anymore.

My new Niece

Hey everyone.

I went home this weekend for my mom's birthday and got to see my new niece for the first time. She was actually born on the 12th of Feburary, but because of school and work, I haven't been able to get home until this past weekend.

Anyhoo...she's beautiful and sweet and QUIET!

Here's some pictures:

Ahhh parents...

Lessons Your Parents Taught You:

Here are a few key things that your parents taught you! Granted, most of you will say that you learned these things all on your own - but I can promise you that your parents had a hand in there, as well.

1. Your Parents spoke to you of RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. Your Parents piqued your first interest in TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

3. Your Parents proved the theory of all LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. Your Parents gave you the gift of FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, you never know if you'll get into an accident."

5. Parents were always good for teaching you IRONY:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

6. Even before biology class your parents taught you the fundamentals of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

7. They were always ready to suggest a career - even as a CONTORTIONIST:
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

8. They instilled in you the importance of STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

9. You were taught that you even could control the WEATHER:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. They taught you the basics principals of BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

11. Parents were the first to make you know ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

12. Your parents gave you that butterfly feeling of ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until we get home."

13. They taught you what a marvelous gift it was to RECEIVE :
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

14. Your parents studied MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

15. They were the first to instruct you HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

16. Your mother was likely the one skilled in GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."

17. Parents got you to question your own ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

18. They were the very people that taught you WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

19. Long before you knew the laws of the world they instructed you in the ways of JUSTICE:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

and last but not least...

20. Your loving mother and father - long before you had seen any Disney movie - taught you THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

Funny

I found this fitting given my last post...


Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.